Blog Post #6

I'm concerned, you guys. What would happen if there was a law for not cutting off your own hair? This law would of course include shaving, waxing, or using creams of any kind. You may wonder what the point would be, of course. So would I, so lets think of one. Perhaps global warming? No, that doesn't make sense. But hang on, what about global COOLING?

We all saw The Day After Tomorrow. By that, I mean, those of us with a desire for Jake Gyllenhaal (not me), or people who like dumb action movies (that's a little bit me) or people without taste or lives (yeah, that one is me). Anyway, when the ozone fell down, or the ice caps melted, or the reactor blew up...or whatever actually happened in that movie...everything got real cold. Old people died in the snow. DIED. Now just imagine what would have happened if all those people were hairy! They would have been warm and snuggly. Problem solved.

Of course, it does seem like a fairly ridiculous law to enforce, just in case the ice caps melt all of a sudden without warning, and just in case a thin layer of hair on our legs would actually stop us all from freezing to death instantly. But we've got to try something, for the love of God!

Of course, there would be problems. Body odour would increase, and spraying ourselves with Rexona would mean the hole in the ozone would get even bigger, getting us all stuck in a vicious cycle. Also, after a few generations of hairy people, wouldn't the hair start to grow thicker and make us look more like apes and chimpanzees? Maybe not. If you haven't worked it out already, I'm not really Joe Science.

So to sum up, it is probably not a very good idea for laws to be introduced about body hair. Don't sign any petitions, you guys, until you have considered the consequences.

Blog out.