Thursday, May 31, 2007

Wool-dulgence - a haiku

Wool-dulgence - a haiku. Sixty dollar scarf, a complete waste of money! Do you take Visa?

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Lipstick Wearers - a haiku

Lipstick Wearers - a haiku. Don't walk behind me with those awful cloppy shoes, you sound like a horse

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Blog Post #4

The Kate Edition


  • Gary Oldman
  • Soy Sauce
  • Lame promotions of websites you’re already on

  • When people are all “can you do my work for me?” and then make that face that is 90% “sucks to be you” and 10% “haha”
  • I guess that's it

Monday, May 28, 2007

From Me to You and You to Me - two haikus

From Me to You - a haiku. Dearest Thesaurus, you are very beautiful. Will you marry me?

From You to Me - a haiku. Salutations Kate. Though you are amicable, we are ill-suited.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Blog Post #3

Shall we do a small intro of sorts? Yes, we shall!

My name is Kate, I live in New Zealand, and I am 22. If I could be any animal it would probably be a polar bear, I like the water. Plus I have a fluffy white jacket that I really love; I imagine it’s only a half-step over to actually growing fur.

However, I am well aware of the phrase “be careful what you wish for”, don’t think I didn’t read Goosebumps when I was small. So, as I am putting this out there on the Internet of all places, I should make the following points clear:
1) I do not want to live in a zoo.
2) I do not want to be dead.

I don’t know what else you’d want to know about me, I think we have covered the main points. I’m sure you clever folks who know things about psychology will be able to uncover information from inside my haikus that I didn’t even know I put in.

Feel free to send all analyses of my psyche to my e-mail, which is soysaucecarnival at gmail dot com.

Itching to Listen - a haiku

Itching to Listen - a haiku. This bonk-bonk-click song is so far under my skin I'm getting a rash
Context is here

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Blog Post #2

I'm writing a proper one of these tomorrow. If this turns out to be an empty promise I might just sneakily come back and delete this entry. Hopefully no one will notice, and as long as I don't tell anyone of my plot we'll be fin-
aww, crap.

Anyway, today's haiku has both rhyme and liberal use of the smudge tool.

This is not a sign of what is to come.

Do not fear, most of my forays into rhyming haiku are embarrassingly awful, I end up spending half an hour with my rhyming dictionary only to discover that the only possible word is "hooter".

Nautical Wishes - a haiku

Nautical Wishes - a haiku. If I had a boat, I would call in sick to work. On the sea I'd float

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

In 'Dirrty'... - a haiku

In 'Dirrty' - a haiku. I just figured out the words are 'ring the alarm' not 'bring the LR'
Context is here

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Blog Post #1

Bloggy bloggy bloggy

Oh Tristan, why did you suggest I have a blog on here?

How Apropreate - a haiku

How Apropreate - a haiku. She has 'alscimus'. Well, that's what Emma told me. Forgot how to spell?

Monday, May 21, 2007

After Hitting the Hay - a haiku

After Hitting the Hay - a haiku. My mother was there, she gave me heaps of canned food and a grey kitten

Friday, May 18, 2007

Innocence Lost - a haiku

Innocence Lost - a haiku. Childlike wonder - when did mine walk out on me? Goatse didn't help

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Rumbling and Grumbling - a haiku

Rumbling and Grumbling - a haiku. Furious black clouds. I love it when the weather aligns with my mood

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Hieroglyphic Joy - a haiku

Hieroglyphic Joy - a haiku. My grocery list is made up of small symbols. The cow means 'buy milk'

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Lacklustre - a haiku

Lacklustre - a haiku. Here first name was 'Bored'. She was thirty five years old. No, I lie, it's me.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Pavlovian Bathroom - a haiku

Pavlovian Bathroom - a haiku. I always get zapped when I touch the toilet door. Now I'm scared to pee

Friday, May 11, 2007

Looking Busy at Work - a haiku

Looking Busy at Work - a haiku. Open a spread-sheet, chew on the end of a pen, frown as if thinking

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Sam's Fort - a haiku

Sam's Fort - a haiku. What a waste of time. A fort is not just a sheet. Needs some structure

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

To the Man on the Street - a haiku

To the Man on the Street - a haiku. Too much CK One. You smell like chemical waste. Go take a shower

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Heating at Work - a haiku

Heating at Work - a haiku. The man over there keeps changing the thermostat. Goose-pimpled office

Monday, May 7, 2007

In France, of Course - a haiku

In France of Course - a haiku. When I am fifty I want to live in my robe. Tipsy before noon

Friday, May 4, 2007

BBQ'ed Orange - a haiku

BBQ'ed Orange - a haiku. He's in a smoke cloud, prodding at meat with a fork. Caveman regression

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Vegas Wedding - a haiku

Vegas Wedding - a haiku. If I get married I want to wear leopard print. Bridesmaids in orange